A simple DM sparked a profound reflection on modern masculinity, purpose, and what it truly means to find direction in life.
Will Tennyson, popular fitness YouTuber and content creator, recently received a message from a 20-year-old follower who declared he felt completely lost—no direction, no clarity, just confusion about his future.
What followed wasn’t just advice—it was a raw, unfiltered manifesto on navigating the unique challenges facing young men today.
And it starts with a confession: Tennyson had absolutely no idea what he was doing at 20 either.
Jump to:
The Modern Challenge Isn’t Hardship—It’s Too Much Comfort
Previous generations faced obvious physical challenges—war, poverty, disease. Today’s battlefield looks completely different.
According to Tennyson, the younger generation’s primary struggle isn’t finding comfort during hard times, but rather avoiding too much comfort and pleasure.
There’s billions and billions and billions of dollars of research going into how to make a phone, social media, anything highly, highly addictive. And we’re giving kids those at like 8 years old.
The odds are stacked heavily against young people. Smartphones in elementary school. Social media algorithms designed for maximum engagement. Content glorifying instant gratification over meaningful achievement.
Tennyson argues that the ability to abstain from easy pleasures—to envision a better future and execute a plan to get there—has become incredibly rare.
The Role Model Problem
Reflecting on his own journey, Tennyson admits he didn’t have proper guidance during his formative years. His father was supportive but from a different generation, unable to relate to the specific challenges his son faced.
I was just a dumb kid. I thought it was cool to party, to not try in school, to do drugs, to chase after girls, to do all these things.
Without someone challenging him to think bigger, he fell into typical adolescent patterns—behaviors he now recognizes as “what boys do” rather than what men aspire to become.
The problem intensifies with social media. Young people gravitate toward whoever has the most followers, regardless of whether those influencers promote gambling, casual sex, or substance use.
These behaviors might seem appealing in the moment, but Tennyson believes they ultimately hurt men more than they benefit them, eroding genuine values and meaningful connections.
The One Question That Changes Everything
When responding to that lost 20-year-old, Tennyson asked a deceptively simple question: Do you believe a better version of yourself exists?
If the answer is yes, something powerful happens—you’ve admitted you have faith.
Faith that improvement is possible. Faith that change can happen. Faith that provides the foundation for taking action.
The only way to move forward in life is by starting and just taking action. There’s no book or 12-step program or perfect way that it’s going to organize things.
Awareness means nothing without action. But action requires faith—and recognizing that a better version of yourself exists gives you exactly that.
Taking Responsibility When No One Else Will
Tennyson emphasizes that while having a mentor would be ideal, most young men won’t have someone consistently pushing them, asking hard questions, or holding them accountable.
You must take responsibility for your own life. No exceptions, no excuses.
But where do you start when everything feels overwhelming?
Step One: Eliminate What’s Holding You Back
Look at behaviors that feel like vices—checking your phone constantly, playing excessive video games, eating poorly, consuming content mindlessly.
These are the easy things everyone gravitates toward. Simply avoiding them puts you ahead of the majority.
Step Two: Define Your Values
Think carefully about the person you want to become. What principles matter most?
- Integrity: If you say you’ll do something, do it
- Delayed gratification: Choose long-term rewards over immediate pleasure
- Respect: Treat everyone you meet with genuine consideration
- Honesty: Don’t lie, manipulate, or deceive
- Intentionality: Whatever you do, do it fully—no half-measures
Don’t worry about getting it perfect. If your values need adjustment, they’ll evolve as you learn and grow.
Step Three: Just Start
Take action—any action aligned with your values. The path may not make complete sense initially, but movement creates clarity.
If you create a path for yourself and you go the wrong way, you will still learn and then you can create a new path from what you’ve learned there. But if you’re just sitting down absorbing comfort constantly and not taking action, you’re going to go absolutely nowhere.
Why The Gym Is The Perfect Starting Point
Tennyson advocates strongly for fitness as an entry point to personal development, and the reasoning goes beyond physical appearance.
Training requires discipline in multiple forms:
- Choosing what you eat (and what you don’t)
- Showing up when you’re tired
- Pushing through discomfort
- Staying consistent over time
When you demonstrate to yourself what your body can accomplish through hard work, it creates momentum. You begin thinking more clearly about other areas where discipline could transform your life.
The gym becomes tangible proof that effort produces results—evidence you can apply everywhere else.
The Path Forward: Faith, Responsibility, Action
Tennyson’s message to that lost 20-year-old—and anyone feeling directionless—boils down to three non-negotiables:
Have faith that a better version of yourself exists. This isn’t wishful thinking—it’s recognizing your potential for growth.
Take responsibility for your life. No one else will do it for you, and waiting for external motivation wastes precious time.
Define your values and take action. Identify who you want to become, establish principles that will get you there, and start doing something—anything—aligned with that vision.
Realize that you already have faith in yourself. Take responsibility for your own life because no one’s going to take it for you. Define who you want to become, the values that are going to get you there. And just start by doing something.
The rest, Tennyson promises, will come—but only if you put in genuine effort and stop absorbing distractions.
Feeling lost isn’t a permanent condition. It’s a signal that you’re ready to start building something meaningful. The question isn’t whether you’re capable of change—it’s whether you’re willing to believe you are and act accordingly.
