In the world of fitness, ripped abs and chiseled physiques dominate the conversation. But for multi-time CrossFit Games champion Jason Grubb, the pursuit of aesthetics once conflicted with performance—and it nearly cost him his health and success.
In a candid reflection, Jason opens up about body image struggles, years of underfueling, and finally accepting that his best performance comes with a bigger body.
It’s a powerful story that flips the narrative most athletes are sold. If you’ve ever wrestled with comparing your performance to how you look, this article will hit home – and possibly reshape your entire approach to fitness.
Jump to:
- The Struggle Between Looking Fit and Being Fit
- 2018: Lean and Underpowered
- The Turning Point: Fueling Performance Over Aesthetics
- What Happens When You Stop Prioritizing Abs
- The Psychology Behind Body Image in Performance Sports
- How to Know What’s Best—Function or Form?
- Actionable Takeaways From Jason’s Journey
- The Bottom Line
The Struggle Between Looking Fit and Being Fit
For Jason, the feeling of being “fat” started young. Despite being active as a child and training in gymnastics through his teens, he never felt lean enough. It wasn’t about numbers on a scale—it was about perception. “I’ve always felt thick. I’ve always felt round,” he admits.
By his twenties and thirties, Jason was pushing himself with running routines and workout streaks—but his nutrition didn’t support his athletic goals. In hindsight, he sees those years clearly: a mix of effort and inconsistency, undermined by poor fueling habits and a fixation on looking leaner.
2018: Lean and Underpowered
Jason qualified for his first CrossFit Games in 2018 weighing around 187 pounds—lean, shredded, and by all visual accounts, physically impressive. “I was ripped… veins and visible abs,” he recalls. But under the hood, something wasn’t working.
He struggled through the strength events, finishing near the bottom on heavy lifts. “I just didn’t have it,” he said of the snatch and jerk events. That’s when he began to realize that being lighter wasn’t helping him win—it was costing him strength and power.
The Turning Point: Fueling Performance Over Aesthetics
Over the following years, Jason experimented with eating more—sometimes intentionally, sometimes just out of life circumstance. As he gained weight, he didn’t lose performance. Quite the opposite.
By the 2019 CrossFit Games, he was up to 190–192 pounds. With better nutrition and improved recovery, he not only qualified again—he won.
“I discovered that when I ate more and fueled my body more appropriately, I performed better and I felt better.”
It wasn’t a fluke. He continued that trend in 2021 (197 lbs), 2022 (200 lbs), 2023, and now again in 2024 at his heaviest weight yet—206 pounds. And he keeps winning.
What Happens When You Stop Prioritizing Abs
The internal tension still exists. Even now, Jason admits he doesn’t always like what he sees in the mirror.
“I take my shirt off and I see a guy that doesn’t look like Brent Fikowski… ripped and chiseled. I still see that ‘fat guy.’”
Yet performance metrics tell a different story. Despite being heavier than ever, Jason is stronger, faster, and more well-rounded than ever. He dominates in high-skill gymnastics, endurance events, and now strength events that once held him back.
At the 2023 Games, which opened with a one-rep max clean and jerk followed by a max snatch, he didn’t lag—he thrived. “All of those things are getting better, and I’m still winning the endurance events… As I got heavier, I got better at this sport.”
The Psychology Behind Body Image in Performance Sports
For athletes and everyday fitness enthusiasts living in a culture obsessed with six-packs and scale weight, separating aesthetics from ability isn’t easy. Jason’s story is proof of how deeply internal these battles go—even for someone at the top of their game.
- He knows he performs best at 200+ pounds.
- He’s won more titles at his heaviest weight.
- Yet he still questions if he should cut calories to look leaner.
This duality isn’t uncommon. Research from the National Library of Medicine on athlete body image reveals that many competitors, especially in aesthetic-leaning communities like CrossFit and fitness, experience similar body dissatisfaction—even at elite levels.
How to Know What’s Best—Function or Form?
While Jason isn’t offering diet advice or training strategies in this reflection, his core message is clear: Align your goals with what matters most to you.
If your mission is to perform at your best, you may need to embrace a body composition that doesn’t match fitness magazine covers.
In his words:
“If I wanted to aesthetically look absolutely amazing, I’m probably going to be 190 lbs… But that is not best for me for performance. I’m not here for photo shoots. I’m here to win titles.”
Actionable Takeaways From Jason’s Journey
Even though he didn’t spell them out, Jason’s story reveals a blueprint anyone can learn from:
1. Track Performance, Not Just Weight
Instead of obsessing over the number on the scale, track strength gains, recovery quality, and energy levels. They tell a more complete story of your fitness journey.
2. Fuel Like an Athlete
Undereating to chase aesthetics can sabotage your goals. Fuel your workouts, your sleep, and your recovery. As Jason found, eating more led to better sleep, better lifts, and overall improved output.
3. Allow Your Body to Evolve
Your “ideal” body at one stage of life or training may not be what works best now. Let go of static ideals. Adapt with intention.
4. Accept That You May Never Feel “Lean Enough”
Body dysmorphia isn’t logical. Even after multiple championships, Jason still sees a “fat guy” sometimes. Self-acceptance takes active effort—especially in a culture that idolizes aesthetics.
5. Define Success for Yourself
Is it stepping onto a podium? Hitting a PR? Living pain-free? Once you define success on your terms, navigating body image becomes less complicated.
The Bottom Line
Jason Grubb’s story is a bold reminder that fitness isn’t defined by abs or a number on the scale—it’s about what your body can do. And if your high-functioning self comes with a little extra thickness? So be it.
“I might just be a 49-year-old CrossFit athlete chasing a title in this body. And I’m growing to accept that.”
Whether you’re a high-level athlete or simply committed to better health, remember: Looking fit and being fit are not always the same thing—chasing both doesn’t always lead you to the top of the podium.
