For years, the phrase “midlife crisis” has dominated conversations about aging.
But what if everything we thought we knew about middle age was wrong?
Margie Lachman, a lifespan developmental psychologist who has spent over three decades studying adults between 40 and 60, wants to flip the script entirely.
In a recent interview with The Guardian, Lachman shared findings from the landmark Midlife in the United States study—and her message is surprisingly hopeful.
Jump to:
- The Midlife Crisis Myth Is Exactly That—A Myth
- What Actually Happens During Midlife
- Life Satisfaction Actually Increases
- The Power of Subjective Age
- You Can Still Change
- Health in Midlife Sets the Stage
- Mindset Makes All the Difference
- How to Keep Feeling Young
- Rethinking Midlife for Future Generations
- An Opportunity, Not a Crisis
The Midlife Crisis Myth Is Exactly That—A Myth
Lachman joined the MacArthur Foundation research network to study midlife just as she was approaching 40 herself. At the time, the period between 40 and 60 was either seen as catastrophic or completely ignored by researchers.
Most of the work being done in my field at the time was focused on young people and older people. We didn’t really know much about these middle years.
What Lachman and her colleagues discovered was revelatory. The belief that midlife is inevitably unhappy or marked by dramatic upheaval? “Flat-out wrong,” she says.
In fact, only about 26% of people reported experiencing a “midlife crisis”—and when pressed to define it, their answers varied wildly. Divorce, job loss, health scares—events that could happen at any age were retroactively labeled as midlife crises simply because of when they occurred.
What Actually Happens During Midlife
Instead of crisis, Lachman found common themes that define this life stage. Chief among them: responsibility.
Roughly 45% of Americans in their 40s belong to the “sandwich generation,” caring for both aging parents and children under 18. Even those without this exact family structure often find themselves mentoring younger colleagues or supporting extended family.
Having people who count on you, who you can advise and mentor and help, is a central theme of midlife. This can be a good thing—you have a lot to offer—but it can also create a lot of pressure.
Physical changes also mark this period. Reading glasses, gray hair, wrinkles—these visible signs trigger anxiety about aging.
But here’s where perception matters enormously.
Life Satisfaction Actually Increases
Contrary to stereotype, research shows life satisfaction remains stable or even increases through midlife and into early old age.
Meanwhile, younger generations today report significantly more depression and anxiety than their middle-aged counterparts. The narrative that youth equals happiness simply doesn’t hold up under scrutiny.
Lachman’s own experience reflects this. Reflecting on her 40s and 50s, she’s emphatic:
I’m looking back on it now, but I loved midlife.
The Power of Subjective Age
One of Lachman’s most fascinating findings centers on subjective age—how old you feel versus your chronological age.
Turns out, feeling young is as important as (or more important than) your actual age when predicting health outcomes. People with positive views of aging tend to be healthier overall.
What people tell you about how old they feel reflects a lot of what’s going on inside.
This doesn’t mean Lachman advocates anti-aging treatments like Botox or Ozempic, but she doesn’t condemn them either. Her stance? Whatever makes you feel young is beneficial—though there are healthier, more sustainable ways to achieve that feeling.
You Can Still Change
Another pervasive myth about midlife is that personality and identity become fixed. Not true, according to longitudinal data.
Research shows people actually become more agreeable, more conscientious, and less neurotic as they age. Anxiety and depression tend to decrease.
Personality typically stabilizes in the 50s, meaning people in their 40s still have significant capacity for change. Want to become more extroverted? Start having more conversations. Want to be more conscientious? Practice punctuality.
Personality is just your behaviour, thoughts and feelings, and you can change those things.
Health in Midlife Sets the Stage
Physical changes in midlife happen gradually—bone loss, muscle weakness, declining lung function. These processes are easy to ignore until they’re not.
But here’s the critical point: genetics determine only 25-50% of longevity and health. The rest is largely within your control.
- Blood pressure is modifiable
- Glucose levels can be managed
- Cholesterol responds to lifestyle changes
- Weight is controllable through diet and exercise
Investments in health during these years pay enormous dividends later. Regular checkups, monitoring key indicators, and healthy lifestyle behaviors matter tremendously.
It’s important to get regular checkups, monitor these physical indicators and try to improve them. The earlier you start with those typical healthy lifestyle behaviours, the better, but it’s never too late.
Mindset Makes All the Difference
Perhaps Lachman’s most powerful insight is about expectations. Believing midlife represents decline becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Optimism, on the other hand, drives healthy behaviors. If you believe you have agency over your health and future, you’re far more likely to take action.
If you feel like it’s all downhill from here, it’s kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy, so being optimistic, and looking forward to the future, is really very important.
At 40 or 50, statistically speaking, you likely have as much time ahead as you’ve already lived. That realization should be energizing, not depressing.
How to Keep Feeling Young
Lachman offers concrete strategies for maintaining vitality through midlife and beyond:
- Find purpose and meaning in daily life
- Mentor younger people—you have valuable knowledge to share
- Spend time with different age groups for fresh perspectives
- View challenges as opportunities for growth rather than crises
Working with younger colleagues, for instance, creates intergenerational exchange where everyone contributes something unique.
My lab has people of different ages, and we all contribute different things, based on our experience and knowledge: the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
Rethinking Midlife for Future Generations
Millennials hitting traditional midlife milestones later than previous generations may reshape this life stage entirely. With longer, healthier lifespans, midlife itself may extend into the 60s.
Career changes, additional education, starting families—these experiences once confined to younger decades are increasingly happening later. That’s not necessarily problematic; it’s simply evolution.
An Opportunity, Not a Crisis
Lachman’s decades of research point to one conclusion: midlife deserves a rebrand. Rather than dread or ignore these years, we should recognize them as prime time.
Natural reflection at milestone birthdays—40, 45, 50—doesn’t constitute crisis. It’s normal to assess whether life aligns with your goals. The empowering part? You still have time to adjust course.
If you think about midlife as an opportunity, it opens up possibilities for growth, wellbeing and long-term health.
Her book, Primetime: A New Vision for Midlife, published by Simon Element, expands on these themes with practical guidance grounded in rigorous research.
The takeaway isn’t that midlife comes without challenges—caring for multiple generations, navigating physical changes, reassessing priorities. These are real.
But framing this period as inevitable decline ignores substantial evidence to the contrary. With the right mindset and behaviors, these years can represent peak satisfaction, influence, and health—setting the foundation for a vibrant later life.
